I am exhausted. Friday I came home with all the intentions in the world of going to sleep at 6pm and sleeping until early Saturday morning, somewhere around 9am like I’ve been doing the last few weeks. However, I came home, put my PJ’s on, and climbed into bed. It felt so fantastic that it wasn’t but one, maybe two minutes I was out like a light. I then faintly remember hearing someone yelling my name, then I felt something tuck around my side. That pulled me straight up and out of sleep so quickly that I lay there confused, and heart racing a million miles an hour.
It was my girlfriend who decided to completely surprise me by coming over to see me since I’d not seen her in a week. Honestly, I was much, much more interested in sleep than I was in seeing her at that particular minute. So I told her I’d like to get sleep, I think it mostly came out as grunts, and putting my face back into the pillow. I think that would qualify as a good explanation that I’m indeed intending to sleep instead of making contact.
So what feels like a matter of milliseconds I start to hear crying, and again am once pulled out of my solid state of sleep to realize she’s crying at the foot of my bed? What is with the waterworks I wonder to myself, and then ask her why she’s crying? I assume it was more like a few grunts, and then maybe a “stop doing that!” yell. She then goes on to say we haven’t seen each other in a week, and she’s upset that I didn’t miss her as much as she misses me. So I say I don’t care, and that I’ll see her tomorrow (Saturday) either way it goes so she can just save it till then. That went over just as well as the grunts it seemed as the water works did not work, instead she decided to sit there for what seemed eternity sobbing slightly, and asking me sporadically if I really wanted her to leave. All the while sleep is starting to become harder and harder to catch onto, and I really needed it. I’ve been sleeping horribly as of late.
So I then say I’m interested in a Star Bucks and maybe that would help me wake up. She continues to sit there. If I was writing a poem about her sitting there she’d be like Poe’s poem about the eye staring there. I’d be the one going insane and wanting to put the eye out forever. I then humor her by getting up, sitting on the end of the bed rocking backwards as sleep weighs on me like a thousand pounds. I manage to get myself up, and make my way out of the house for Star Bucks. In the end it didn’t help.
So we end up going back to her house, all the while she’s saying how much work she has to do that night, and how she’ll be up so amazingly late. We stay at her parents for a little while with both her and her father watching American Idol. I had about as much interest in that show as getting my prostate checked by a doctor. After what seemed like a torturous eternity of listening to want to be songsters singing to a crowd of pre-pubesant idol worshippers we made our way back to my place for her to study. By this time it’s probably going on past ten and I’m absolutely blitzed on sleep loss. I’ve started chugging pop after pop, I think about six, and started to get ready to keep her company while she studied so late. It was at this point she says she’s extremely tired, and takes off heading back home to get sleep of her own. That’s when I realize I’ve totally lost my ability to sleep, I’m hyped up on about six pops, a large frapachino, and it’s about eleven o’clock and I’m not in the slightest bit tired. I was quite perturbed if you can image.
So two oclock rolls around and I’m still up listening to music, on the verge of sleep so that I can’t be productive in my own endeavors, and yet not sleepy enough to actually go to sleep. So finally around three oclock I slink into bed to find that much needed rest I’ve been longing for all week. It was at this point where it felt like one quick fart and it was the next morning the glorious 9 o’clock starring me in the face, and my head so deprived of sleep that it’s literally like waking up after a night of binge drinking. Not that I condone binge drinking, but we’re using it as an elusion to the condition that I was in.
Long story short THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENS on Saturday night, except I was out with friends playing card games until two in the morning. Sunday was a bit different. By this point I’m so utterly out of my sleep cycle that I was not able to sleep at all so I’m sitting here after drinking so many pops, and I stopped by Star Bucks this morning for another large frapachino. I’m sitting here jazzed on caffeine like a drug addict, my eyes are dark red, my client has had nothing but problems today, and I’m looking at another seven hours until I can caress my pillow with my dreams. I’m thinking so hard about my pillow/bed that I’d imagine that if I had the force it would be floating towards the ceiling. The worst part is I’m supposed to talk to a few free lance people, see my step brother for St. Pats day, and then get ready for my meeting tomorrow with my departmental manager from my parent company to go over what I want from my company in the next five years.
To tell you the truth since I was up I read Hacking RSS & Atom last night, listened to music, wrote a few blogs, read a few blogs, and updated my Monster.com profile. I’m going to put my resume out there asking for 80k$ a year. I want to see whether I get actual bites because honestly I’m not sure what i’m worth in the market. I figure I’d better get an idea before having talks with my manager on what I want from my company.
I want money, and I want a position closer to management. I think I’ll make it known. I’m nearly debt free, have no underling chain keeping me from trying something new, and I need to be able to flex once or twice before getting tied down to a job and marriage.
Anyway, I’m exhausted and I’m working. I have a lot of things due tomorrow so its going to be a very long day.